We all have things that we need to change in our lives. Most of us are aware of them, but choose not to make the changes for one reason or another. Other times we realize that we have to take immediate action no matter how painful or difficult it is going to be. I am at such a crossroads.
I realized that I am spending an enormous and unhealthy amount of time watching movies and television show. I knew I was watching too much, but when I realized how many hours in my week I was giving up I was devastated. I love TV so this is a painful discovery for me because I know for now I have to quit watching it completely. Cold turkey for my addiction.
I know all the reason to stop watching TV are great ones, more time with my kids, and my house will definitely benefit from it. Also cutting out the media garbage I have been feeding myself a daily dose of, along with more time for spiritual growth.
I used TV to euthanize myself from all the drama and trials of the last 2 years, and now I am in a place I can recognize it for what it is. A huge waste of my life. So this next month is going to be hard. I have to start thinking again. I remember the me that loves to be actively engaged in an activity, but finding her inside this lazy mind and body is the trick.
When I told my kids no more computer (we have no actual television) I expected howls of rage and dismay, they surprised me. First they made sure I was included in this scenario, and Second they started filling my day up for me with outings and books they wanted to read together.
The part of me that doubted I could do this was instantly eradicated. My kids have been needing me, we have all been suffering. I am still worried.
Does this mean I will never watch TV again? Of course not. What it means is that until my life is in order, and full of actual life, I will just say no.
Notice that I didn't mention how much TV I was watching. That would be the shame and denial part of it all. I refuse to calculate exactly how much time I was devoting to my TV God. I feel guilty enough without knowing the exact number. So wish me luck. I am now going to shut down my computer to avoid backsliding. Love you all. Hope you don't think less of me.
